Monday, February 15, 2016

Where did that year go?

I didn't realise it had been as long as a year since my last update.

Spring Harvest went really well...
then it was the church AGM ...
then sorting out pulpit supply ...
then before you knew where you were it was time for the Scripture Union Summer Mission week doing childrens work every morning, team time in afternoon, youth work and family work in the evening during the week and other stuff both weekends ...
then a few days to recover at work ...
then I threw myself into helping with Butefest with storms and mud and music and friends and fun and late nights and early mornings ...
then my mum and her husband came to visit for Highland games ...

then it was late August and I broke,

I broke me.

It's been a long 6 months of coming to realise I can't do all that on top of 40hour weeks at work and stay sane, or in touch with friends or even family and keep my house tidy or clothes repaired or diet healthy.

I've had to learn to say no when I want to say yes, but really can't,
I've had to learn to listen to those that care about me when they say I'm doing too much but I feel I'm not doing enough as I'm not not doing anything properly, or completely finishing each job.
I've had to learn to let go of perfectionism, sometimes basic and done is good enough
I've had to learn somethings I can stop worrying about as I can't fix how other people see things.
I've had to learn I cant make everybody like me by working harder or longer
I've had to learn some people will never be happy with what I've done or am doing and thats their issue not mine.
I've had to learn to recognise when my reactions to situations are over reactions and try and talk myself down off the mental ledge rather than fly off the handle

I'm still learning all of these and more.

But last week I also learned how to quilt!

In amongst my bombsite of a craft room/spare room I found a pack of fabric squares I must have bought 15/20 years ago. still in their packagaing. As I'd unearthed the sewing maching recently and was trying to have some 'me time' I thought I'd give patchwork a go.

I started simple, just after Christmas, nothing fancy, I put some squares together and made a cushion cover. Just sew the squares together and then add a back.

Then I found a beginning quilting series on Diary of a

Amy made it look really simple and not as scary as it felt. So this week I made a quilt.
I'm ridiculously happy about it.
It's not very big and it's not very thick, and the sewing is a bit wonky, but its mine and I made it and that'd good enough.

Hopefully I'll manage to update more this year but I'm not holding myself to any deadlines or framework.

If you've managed to read this far take care of yourself and yours this year and I promise to take better care of me also x

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